A Day in Life: humor

Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

7.02.2007

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

from many waters from Trust preview it now

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have
the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing (or you're not reading this and yet still nodding and laughing).

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to send this post to.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
this list.

16. This is actually the 16th time you've seen this list and you read it again.

17. You realize that this stopped being funny after number 3 and yet you still will read the next one.

18. See, I told you that you'd read this one (and probably the next two if you're not careful).

19. You begin tilting your head sideways to frown :-(

20. You know better but you're going to click this link and waste more time taking a very hard IQ Quiz.

21. You're going to accept a "Thank You for Visiting My Blog" note from me, and I hope you know that I really mean it,

Thanks for reading my blog today. Come back anytime.

all mp3 downloadable songs priced: $1.00
current release TRUST $13.00 (order online or via snail mail)

vote for me

6.28.2007

My Celebrity Look Alikes?

Saddam???!!! For that matter any of them, I don't see it!!! Do you?

t00-m0ch,
Chris

christophercarder.com

tags: colin powell morton harket winston churchill patrick swayze bob marley saddam hussein chris carder music listing christian music download music music mp3 indie

all mp3 downloadable songs priced: $1.00
current release TRUST $13.00 (order online or via snail mail)

vote for me

1.17.2007

Video: Men in Coats [too funny]

Have you seen this yet? Hysterical...

t00-m0ch,
Chris

christophercarder.com

song: Strange and Wonderful

tags: men in coats funny youtube video vid hysterical chris carder music listing christian music

all mp3 downloadable songs priced: $1.00
current release TRUST $15.00 (order online or via snail mail)

vote for me

12.28.2006

One Last Bad Santa Image for 2006

He's small, he's tiny, he's sneaky too ... be very very quiet ... I think the jolly old elf is sneaking away ... probably until Christmas 2007. A click on the banner - for a listen, a click on the man for the store.

Click the following to see all my Big Bad Santas Christmas Collection

t00-m0ch,
Chris

christophercarder.com

song: Still Shoebox - Keeping it free until New Years! Just hit play and you can download the song from right here:

» More music from this artist ...

tags:

icerocket tags: free song download, shoebox, christmas 2006, merry christmas, new years, big bad santa, collection, pics, bad holiday, humor, images, bad santa, sneaky, sneaking, click,

chris carder music listing christian music

all mp3 downloadable songs priced: @1.35 or register for free and they're $1.00
current release TRUST $15.00 (order online or via snail mail)

12.17.2006

Bad Christmas Images (found on the net) part III

so when does the dancing santa have time to make toys?

part II

t00-m0ch,
Chris

christophercarder.com

song: shoebox

tags: bad santa dumb pictures merry christmas funny shoebox christmas pics chris carder music listing christian music

all mp3 downloadable songs priced: $1.00
current release TRUST $15.00 (order online or via snail mail)

12.16.2006

Hilarious Christmas Bird Video

This video is one of the funniest running around this Christmas:

direct link to vid: Christmas Bird

t00-m0ch,
Chris

christophercarder.com

song: yep - shoebox - free download for Christmas - get yours and tell a friend ... thanks!

tags: christmas humor christmas bird delicious vid video youtube chris carder music listing christian music funny shoebox me and ma crabapple

all mp3 downloadable songs priced: $1.00
current release TRUST $15.00 (order online or via snail mail)

12.15.2006

Bad Christmas Images (found on the net) part II

boogie oogie santa!?! let the Christmas badness continue...

part I o' the bad Christmas pics!

t00-m0ch,
Chris

christophercarder.com

song: (for a change) stop by TMR's Strange and Wonderful page

tags: merry christmas bad pictures christmas humor santa boogie santa smile chris carder music listing christian music

all mp3 downloadable songs priced: $1.00
current release TRUST $15.00 (order online or via snail mail)

12.13.2006

Bad Christmas Images (found on the net)

... and so it begins, the first installment of bad christmas images found online. Rocking santa isn't the best (among the worst) but just a start (boogie oogie santa will be a contender ... no doubt about it).

Offered all in fun.

Merry Christmas to all...

t00-m0ch,
Chris

christophercarder.com

song: still pushing shoebox ... it's a free download until Christmas!

» More music from this artist ...

tags: christmas christmas pics pics images shoebox free download chris carder music listing christian music

all mp3 downloadable songs priced: $1.00
current release TRUST $15.00 (order online or via snail mail)

12.12.2006

Chestnuts roasting, open fires, dumbs jokes, and puns

she said, "light up the house for Christmas"

20 bad jokes

[disclaimer: there are 20 bad jokes below ... reader be aware]

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant!

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm
and says:" A beer please, and one for the road."

5. Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

6. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.

8. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

9. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

10. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

11. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

12. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

13. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly,
so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that
you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

14. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office
and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

15. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes
she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

16. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail
and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him ..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

17. There was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

18. Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
Santa's little Elvis

19. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

20. What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Santa Claustrophobia!

t00-m0ch,
Chris

christophercarder.com
current release available online: TRUST

songs: Have a Strange and Wonderful Christmas (the album - check it out)

tags: puns jokes bad jokes lame song TRUST chris carder music listing christian music

all mp3 downloadable songs priced: $1.00
current release TRUST $15.00 (order online or via snail mail)